What do you do with a BA in English?

Avenue Q got it so right. An English degree: simultaneously met with approval from parents, and complete frustration by a graduate. Law students, Medics, Archeology and Anthropology - even History of Art - all these degrees seem to have some end to them, leaving the English students behind as the ones scratching their heads in befuddlement and anxiously poring over the university careers website in the hope that they will discover The Perfect Career.

Some of us, like my best friend Livvy, have sensibily defected: she now resides at City Law School, and despite having minor heart attacks at the thought of actually having to go to lectures now, she is safe in the knowledge that she has an actual career at the end of it.

Others of us, like my dear boyfriend, have remained cosetted within the institutional walls doing an MA, but is still no closer to really knowing what he wants to do, apart from announcing hare-brained schemes on a regular basis, like "I think I'm going to go to Hong Kong for a year." He's gone from lawyer to academic to adveritising to lawyer to management consultancy. At the moment he's back to law. Next week, it could be fireman.

My other best friend, Daisy, has a job. Daisy is a lucky bitch.

And then there's me. Having decided (after work experience, aged 16, sorting out reality tv contestant's dirty underwear on Fame Academy) that I wanted to work in TV, Film,and theatre, I have set about whoring myself out to the business, and despite a brief stint interning at an online fashion magazine (the horrors of which still give me nightmares - more on that to come), this has (largely) been my result:

1. Reality TV work experience

2. Theatre work experience

3. Film Distribution work experience (this actually lasted about 2 days - explanations later)

4. Film Production work experience

5. Film Production Internship

6. Film Development Internship (in New York - cash back)

7. Publishing work experience (this was even worse - I lasted 1 day)

8. Online Fashion Magazine (oh god, the Sloaney horrors)

9. Film Development Internship (take 2)

10. Arts Administration Internship (In a theatre)

That's 10 different companies. 10 places that I have franked, couriered, done the mail, answered the phone, photocopied and made tea. The list almost looks like a perverted version of "A Partridge in a Pear Tree"...possibly titled "A Fuck Lot to Fill a CV."

But do I have a job? Do I heck.